Pooky and Snooky

Pooky and SnookyI am not, as some would claim, a child-hater. I haven’t eaten lightly-toasted babies for breakfast for at least ten years now. I am, however, opposed to the indiscriminate breeding I see all around me, in particular in regional Australia – breeding that often starts young and continues for the duration of a woman’s reproductive life. We’re over-populated, our fragile planet needs a break from the most destructive animal there is, and whole families of little kids being raised to go shootin’ and think that reading is deeply uncool are not going to help.The intelligent, beautiful young women I see in country Queensland can be transformed into hapless drudges with the slip of a condom or the raise of a baby bonus, just like magic. If I ran the world, everyone would have to undergo rigorous psychological testing and a strenuous physical obstacle course, rather like the police force and the army demand, before they were allowed to breed. That’s the male parent too, lads.
So I am delighted when the people with something to offer the gene-pool and the species actually provide the world with a little mammal – even when the thing can’t talk yet and is about as dull as a knife that I’ve accidentally used on a marble chopping board. You can tell from viewing the parents (as they say in dog-breeding circles) that baby-hood is the worst this creature will ever get, and that they will grow into humanity and sense and wisdom and a helpful fascination with the world around them. My sister and her partner have just presented the world with not one, but two, babies that I am delighted exist, even though they look like chipmunks at the moment and will be bi-lingual and hence make me extremely jealous.These creatures have been born to parents who have travelled widely, read voraciously, thought deeply and had their own life first, so that they have something to offer such small people other than resentment and a narrow life-view. And when they start talking they will probably be fascinating – in English as well as Polish, so their stupid aunt can understand them.